English Is A Crazy Language

English is a crazy language

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 ...

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yet drive on a parkway?

Chop a tree down, then cut up the wood?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible. However, when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

THE END

Now I know why I flunked my English. It's not my fault, the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going


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English Is A Crazy Language. (2012, November 20). Retrieved May 24, 2018, from http://www.essayworld.com/essays/English-Is-A-Crazy-Language/101955
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"English Is A Crazy Language." Essayworld.com. November 20, 2012. Accessed May 24, 2018. http://www.essayworld.com/essays/English-Is-A-Crazy-Language/101955.
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PAPER DETAILS
Added: 11/20/2012 08:35:15 AM
Submitted By: iekah
Category: Education
Type: Premium Paper
Words: 607
Pages: 3

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